I have been in the tenancy cleaning industry for over eleven years, and I would say 95% of all customers are nice people who simply want the best service for the money they pay. Sure, you might get someone who had a terrible day and needed to unload on the first thing before their eyes, but my interaction with customers is almost always positive.

Almost. Because there is this rare occasion when you meet someone who tries to be a prick on purpose, assuming you are in no position to respond. Let me give you one of the latest examples.

The common practice in the industry is for the tenancy cleaning companies to communicate exclusively with their customers. In other words, the tenants contact you to book their move-out cleaning, and you work out the details with them. There is one inherent problem with this approach – while the tenant has to book the professional cleaner, the party that is more interested in the procedure is the property owner. Tenants only want to move out, get their security deposit back, and continue their lives. Landlords, however, may have a different idea – they may have specific requirements for the procedure and certain expectations about the quality of service.

For that reason, our tenancy cleaning company decided very early on that we would always call on the property owners – either landlords or estate managers – and find out if they had anything specific in mind for the move-out cleaning. Wouldn’t that be too much of an effort, you may ask? Not at all – in most cases, we don’t need much more than a courtesy call, a sort of backup policy. As I already said, that is in most cases.

A few weeks ago, our customer support team received a standard call – a Chelsea couple moving out of their rented apartment near the Royal Hospital South Grounds. It was all going according to plan when the lady mentioned that their landlord might be a bit “problematic”. “He is not the easiest guy to talk to, and my husband and I believe he wants to keep the security deposit no matter what. Look, it’s not about the money, and if you don’t want the hassle, we will understand. We just wanted to let you know before you took the job.”

It is the case where the support team usually redirects to me. For some reason, I’ve built the reputation of the “weirdo whisperer” – I can find common ground with even the strangest person. However, this case was about to test even my considerable communication skills.

I began with a courtesy call. Our customers had provided us with the landlord’s number, and I called him late afternoon. I knew I had jumped into an emotional cesspool from how he answered the phone. We know at least one person who blames the world for everything – the weather, the economy, their health, the youth, God knows what else. It is never their fault – the government, aliens, and CIA are in cahoots to ruin their life. That’s the kind of person I was talking to on the phone.

After I presented myself, he asked me twice about the company’s name and, after a long pause, dismissively barked he had never heard of it. I politely explained that we are relatively new in the business, but we make up for the lack of experience with complete dedication to high-quality performance.

“Whatever, you don’t need to sell me that marketing nonsense”, he said derisively. My patience was already running low, so I switched to any requirements he might have. Not surprisingly, he couldn’t point out anything particular – the ever-dissatisfied rarely bother with details. I finished the conversation with an invitation to join us for the final quality check-up, which he readily accepted – no doubt with the intention to ruin the day of everyone on my cleaning team.

My next phone call was to my mentor in the cleaning industry – the former CEO of one of the largest cleaning companies in London who had started as a regular carpet cleaner. Now retired, he was a walking encyclopaedia on customer relations and how to build a successful cleaning business. “A couple of things”, he said when I described the case. “First – and you know this – don’t let him get under your skin. Keep it cool no matter what he says, don’t argue, don’t try to convince – you will never succeed this way. Second, do your homework, and do it well. You need the perfect cleaning job. Give him no reason to complain, but most importantly – learn the tenancy contract by heart, especially the cleaning clause. It might be a good idea to talk to a lawyer, just in case.”

I couldn’t argue with such sensible advice. When the day of the appointment came, I joined my cleaning team and made sure they did every chore in our task sheet by the book. The bathroom was sparkling, the kitchen was in perfect order, and the carpets looked like brand new. Finally, the moment of truth came, and the landlord arrived (10 minutes late) to check the apartment. I had asked the tenants to leave the final inspection to me, and they had agreed wholeheartedly.

I could just sense that the guy was looking for the tiniest excuse to rip our work apart. His anger became almost palpable when he couldn’t find a single concrete blemish to hang his hat on. “I don’t think that the cleaning – if you want to call it this way – is at all what I expected in terms of quality. That simply won’t do. I don’t consider the tenancy cleaning clause fulfilled.”

I nodded politely and pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen from my backpack. “Could you please write a list of your complaints so our team can address them accordingly?”, I said and handed him the paper. He stared at me with his mouth agape. “I am afraid it is standard procedure. I am a manager at the company, and I have observed the whole procedure. It complies with our highest standards of performance. If you want to challenge this assertion, I will need it in writing so our lawyers can address it, too.”

I don’t know what had a more cold-showering effect on him – the steely calmness in my voice or mentioning the word “lawyer”. “That won’t be necessary…” was all he could muster before he took the envelope with the security deposit out of his pocket and put it on the table.

I learned a valuable lesson that day – don’t argue with rude people; shut them up with your performance and professionalism. Oh, and the word “lawyer” certainly helps.